Mindless me

I made a promise to myself to not to blog about a personal stuff here but i guess i cant keep that promise. I dont know that what im going to blog later consider personal but yeah just bear with me.

I often had this bitterness inside me. It comes and goes. I feel that i already settled down and letting go but instead it came back and bothering, leaving the mindless me. It even affects my sleeping pattern. Waking up in the middle of the night is not normal you know. Next morning i woke up very cranky because of the lack of sleep.

I keep on asking and assess myself what actually i did wrong. Knowing me, im the type of person not easily letting out what i really feel. I rather keep everything inside. And this will lead to overthinking and bla bla. When it reach to the capacity that i cant carry anymore………….i thought im going insane for real. I cant focus and doing something mindlessly is so torturing.

I hate this kind of period where i feel so loss and confused.



  1. cecharel · April 4, 2018

    The most crucial time of the day is during midnight, specifically some people might say, during 3Am … they called it the 3AM thinking..the time where the area around the temple of the head would be working thus making the thoughts also working… trus fikir bukan.. then .. x bole tdur 😔 been there, done that


    • beatyjohn · April 4, 2018

      sa sentisa ada fikiran begini o clare.mesti setiap bulan ada ni yang kasi beza teruk ka x saja.


  2. Alis Padasian · April 5, 2018

    I do know what u mean. Sy pun begitu juga bah. Sometimes to the point that i dont want to take care of myself anymore. Rambut pun x bersisir. There were times where i was in high spirit. Ada juga masa i hit the rock bottom. But like moon buster always said, good thing when u r fall down is there’ll be one way to go which going up!


    • beatyjohn · April 5, 2018

      Entah kenapa begitu tu… macam mau tidur sja ni .. sign of ageing ni .


  3. chiiseol · April 5, 2018

    Sometimes sy bgitu jg.


    • beatyjohn · April 5, 2018

      sa plg x suka begini ni semua mau buat pn x jadi o


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